Генератор кубиков
It's just a phase. Slash is. A rebellion that lasted way too long.
Not to say that it's bad. It's all fine. Slash and het are both fine. Hot passion shooting down the spine and high feelings squeezing the heart are both fine.
And, hell's sake, it's my diary, I can write in English if I'm so inclined.
Only I'm finding that I'm appreciating those "clean cases" more. "Fate's Favourite" by The Fictionist - no slash. "Meeting Mary" by Snommis, up to 6th chapter and no slash. My "Not quite", finally. Bloody hell, I can't write any kind of action between Leon and D without being delirious from sleep deprivation, and even then it comes out low-rated.
I mean, what's the point of forcing myself?
Or that wasn't what I meant.
It's that thing again, I start writing but there's no conclusion. I start thinking but there's no conclusion.
Oh damn, could write at Logan's as well, since I'd started. But what to write?
I really should be working instead.
Or going to sleep, in order to wake up early.
Please let tomorrow be still a holiday. I'm so bloody tired.
Not to say that it's bad. It's all fine. Slash and het are both fine. Hot passion shooting down the spine and high feelings squeezing the heart are both fine.
And, hell's sake, it's my diary, I can write in English if I'm so inclined.
Only I'm finding that I'm appreciating those "clean cases" more. "Fate's Favourite" by The Fictionist - no slash. "Meeting Mary" by Snommis, up to 6th chapter and no slash. My "Not quite", finally. Bloody hell, I can't write any kind of action between Leon and D without being delirious from sleep deprivation, and even then it comes out low-rated.
I mean, what's the point of forcing myself?
Or that wasn't what I meant.
It's that thing again, I start writing but there's no conclusion. I start thinking but there's no conclusion.
Oh damn, could write at Logan's as well, since I'd started. But what to write?
I really should be working instead.
Or going to sleep, in order to wake up early.
Please let tomorrow be still a holiday. I'm so bloody tired.
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09.03.2014 в 23:44Haven't known you for a long time, but you're incredible!
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09.03.2014 в 23:52Here at diaries, at this hour, in my team too, someone who both reads in English and gives a damn... entirely unexpected, given that I write my posts into the great cyber space without any expectation of reply.
Makes me un-depressed rather effectively, even if temporarily.
Thanks. :]
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09.03.2014 в 23:56Hey, everything's gonna be great for such a versatile and talented person!
Don't be sad and kill them all)
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10.03.2014 в 02:05It's not difficulties that make me sad, though. Not the normal ones, anyway. I dearly wish to regain something I've lost - two somethings, actually, but the first one is unrecoverable altogether, so I even stopped wishing. I very, very much wish to regain someting I've lost, but I don't know how. It throws me. It may be simple, it may be difficult, I would try anyway if only I knew what to do. But I just don't. For all my intellect and creativity, I just fail to come up with a solution.
It all comes down to that one loss and that one failure. Why I'm here, instead of writing elsewhere. Why I'm wearing that name. Why I'm fighting for Petshop of Horrors team instead of my former canon. Why I'm running away within my own mind, from my own thoughts. And why nearly every piece of text I have on PSoH is a reunion. I hate goodbyes.
And I'm not really meant to complain, but it seems that I do anyway, most of the time here, actually. Nowhere else to go with all that, I suppose.
Sometimes, it helps. Most of the time, actually.
It's just, sometimes people write, - and beautifully, too, - about things I desperately want accomplished but am not capable of doing, and it makes me cry.
Hm. Perhaps it's better to ignore this text, but I'll leave it written. I don't know. Sometimes, I just don't know. I never learned to live without.